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      Musician Jokes

      These belly dancing jokes have been making the rounds on the Internet via e-mail. I got them from John Compton, who got them from Bàraka, who got them from Karen V., who got them from Mary A., and so on! Almost all of these are about musicians, but if you read to the bottom you'll find one about restaurant owners and a couple about belly dancers.

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      Musician Jokes

      Q: How do you get two darbecki players to play in perfect unison?
      A: Shoot one.

      Q: What's the difference between an oud and an onion?
      A: No one cries when you chop up an oud.

      Q: What's the difference between a mizmar and a trampoline?
      A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

      Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
      A: To get away from the mizmar concert.

      Q: Why do mizmar players leave their cases on the dashboard?
      A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.

      Q: What is "perfect pitch?"
      A: When you can lob a darbecki into a toilet without hitting the rim.

      Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
      A: Gifted.

      Q: What's the difference between a lawn mower and a mizmar?
      A1: You can tune a lawn mower
      A2: The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawn mower and don't return it.

      Q: If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-time drummer, an out-of-time drummer, or Santa Claus?
      A: The out-of-time drummer. The other two indicate you are hallucinating.

      Q: How do you make a chain saw sound like a mizmar?
      A: Add vibrato.

      Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: Five: one to handle the bulb, and the other four to tell him how much better they could've done it.

      Q: Why is an Arabic musician like a scud missile?
      A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

      Q: What do Arabic musicians use for birth control?
      A: Their personalities.

      Q: What's the difference between a dead mizmar player in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
      A: The country singer might've been on his way to a recording session.

      Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a Lebanese musician's car?
      A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

      Q: What kind of calendar does a mizmar player use for his gigs?
      A: "Year-at-a-glance"

      Q: What's the range of a mizmar?
      A: About twenty yards, if you have a good arm.

      Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
      A: A drummer.

      Q: What does a Lebanese musician say when he gets to work?
      A: "Would you like fries with that, sir?"

      Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
      A: Drool.

      Q: Why are band breaks limited to 20 minutes?
      A: So you don't have to re-train the drummers.

      Q: What's the difference between Arabic musicians and terrorists?
      A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

      Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: None. They have machines to do that now.

      Q: "Hey, how late does the band play?"
      A: "Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

      Q: How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
      A: The knock gets faster.

      Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
      A: Give him music to read.

      Q: How does Warda change a lightbulb?
      A: She just holds on and the world revolves around her.

      Q: What do you call ten Arabic drummers at the bottom of the ocean?
      A: A good start.

      Q: Why are muzhars smaller than darbeckis?
      A: They really are the same size, but the darbecki players heads are bigger.

      Q: What's the difference between a muzhar and a darbecki?
      A: The darbecki burns longer.

      Q: How many sound men does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: "One, two, three; one, two, three."

      Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
      A: One who knows how to play the mizmar, but doesn't.

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      Restaurant Owners

      Q: What's the difference between a Middle Eastern restaurant owner and the PLO?
      A: You can negotiate with the PLO.

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      Belly Dancers

      Q: How many bellydancers does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: Five--one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Najwa Fouad would've done it.

      Q: Why do bellydancers move when they play zills?
      A: To get away from the sound!

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